The right way

Sun 20th May 2007 by Ben Palmer.

When you're bereaved, people invariably want to say the right thing. That's if you're lucky; if not they'll want to impart some great wisdom that is based not on fact, but misguided supposition.

One of the things I was told a few years ago was that, “at least you'll be able to bring up your kids the way you want to.”

An interesting thought. It's true – Jessica and I didn't always agree. We were equally capable of disagreeing on any of a range of subjects, child-raising included. We both enjoyed having our own view points, but knew that the core of our beliefs was firmly founded in the same mould as the other's.

Thus, although a disagreement about parenting was likely, there was no doubt in each of our minds who Harry's (and albeit briefly, Emily's) best mother and best father were.

The art now is not in bringing the two of them up in the way that I want, but rather in the way that they would have been, despite the circumstances.

I'm sure that if Jessica were to comment now, she would have a list of things I wasn't doing right, but I also feel sure that she'd look at her children and smile, knowing that she was still doing a good job.

tags: valley

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What is childbed fever?

Childbed fever is an infection of the womb in new mothers which can lead to septicaemia. If left untreated infection will cause organ failure and death - even in young, fit mothers.
What are the symptoms? »
Childbed fever: the facts »

What's the aim?

We would like every parent and every midwife and doctor to know that childbed fever is still a very real threat to a mother's life.
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Can I help? »

Who is Jessica?

Jessica Palmer was a Mum. She died in June 2004, at 34 years old, of childbed fever caused by Group A streptococcus.
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This website contains general information about childbed fever. The information is not complete or comprehensive. You should not rely on the information on this website as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about childbed fever (or any other medical condition) you should consult your doctor or other healthcare provider; and if you think you may be suffering from childbed fever (or any other medical condition) you should seek immediately medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.