The right way

When you're bereaved, people invariably want to say the right thing. That's if you're lucky; if not they'll want to impart some great wisdom that is based not on fact, but misguided supposition.

One of the things I was told a few years ago was that, “at least you'll be able to bring up your kids the way you want to.”

An interesting thought. It's true – Jessica and I didn't always agree. We were equally capable of disagreeing on any of a range of subjects, child-raising included. We both enjoyed having our own view points, but knew that the core of our beliefs was firmly founded in the same mould as the other's.

Thus, although a disagreement about parenting was likely, there was no doubt in each of our minds who Harry's (and albeit briefly, Emily's) best mother and best father were.

The art now is not in bringing the two of them up in the way that I want, but rather in the way that they would have been, despite the circumstances.

I'm sure that if Jessica were to comment now, she would have a list of things I wasn't doing right, but I also feel sure that she'd look at her children and smile, knowing that she was still doing a good job.