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What rubbish

… been filled with christmas decorations, unused furniture and pictures, boxes filled with Jessica's clothes and anything else that didn't have somewhere to go. All of this I transferred into the spare bedroom today and I can see the floor again. What I needed to do next was to sort through the piles and piles of paper (before I move the piles up from the kitchen) so I grabbed a roll of bin bags …

Masses of bodies

… ridiculous - she was anything but overweight, as anybody who knew her would testify to, and the clothes she wore pre pregnancy were size 8-10. I couldn't really believe that she would be classed as obese, so I referred to her medical notes:

In August 2002, when not pregnant, her GP recorded a height of 1.64m and a weight of 55kg. This gives a BMI of 20.45 which is an "ideal weight".

In …

Time of the moth

… now and I'll miss it.

Throwing so much of my wardrobe out has made me think about Jessica's clothes in boxes upstairs. Some has already been sent to charity shops, but the 'most Jessica' of her clothes are still kept, maybe for dressing up boxes, maybe for Emily, maybe just for memories. I'm fearful that they could have been invaded but haven't dared look.

As Harry says, usually when …

Cards

… reassuring and loving for my children, and I'm exhausted. The house is a total mess, but our clothes, although not ironed, are clean. Harry has done his homework and he and Emily are bathed with clean hair and tucked up in bed.

At the children's party we went to at Battersea Zoo this afternoon, the birthday boy's Mum, Nicky, said to me, "I don't know how you do it, Ben. I really don't." …