Showing posts tagged with: 'clothes'


What rubbish

Fri 15th Feb 2008 by Ben Palmer.

For as long as I can remember now, my work place at home has been the end of the kitchen table rather than my desk in the upstairs study. Working with my computer at the table has had its advantages - I am either in the same or the next door room to Harry and Emily when they play.

The trouble is, my piles of paper have grown, my office paraphenalia has increased, and the fight for space with craft materials, pens, half assembled wooden models and homework has increasingly been going the children's way. This morning I decided that it was time to again venture into the study I shared with Jessica.

Over the last few years it has been filled with christmas decorations, unused furniture and pictures, boxes filled with Jessica's clothes and anything else that didn't have somewhere to go. All of this I transferred into the spare bedroom today and I can see the floor again. What I needed to do next was to sort through the piles and piles of paper (before I move the piles up from the kitchen) so I grabbed a roll of bin bags and set to.

Incredibly I managed to fill seven recycling bags and two bin liners before the children's bedtime. I can now see myself going back in there to work, although now it's evening I'm back at the kitchen table.

A great deal of what I have recycled is Jessica's carefully filed paperwork. I had to stop several times and think, 'do I really want to be throwing this out?' No is the honest answer, but it is finally time. The memories of her are not in files or desk drawers, so their contents must go, but the clothes will stay for the time being. After all, one day Emily may want to wear some of them, even if she does have to wait for the fashion to come full circle again.

There was just one hand written scrap of paper I found that I wanted to share. I had torn it off the bottom of a letter sent to me a few months after Jessica died, and pinned it onto the notice board:

"A man is truly blessed when he has angelic children, because what ever happens during the day; when he comes home at night he is in heaven."

It still evokes mixed emotions, but I like it nevertheless.

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Time of the moth

Sat 7th Jul 2007 by Ben Palmer.

SuitWhen I went to change for last night's school parents' party, I carefully brushed my suit jacket and then started on the trousers, only to find them full of moth larvae and holes. A cursory inspection of the rest of the rail found another suit and a jacket in the same state. I didn't dare look any further, and hung them on the garden bench.

With a horrible hangover this morning I looked again at the wardrobe. My three suits, two jackets and ten jumpers are now in the bin as they're all riddled with the same holes, larvae and wispy white trails of their devourers.

My morning coat, bought for Jessica's and my wedding, almost eight years ago, is a more recent feast I think, because although spotted with larvae I can't find any major damage. It's now in the deep freeze and will be dry-cleaned next week.

I bought one of the suits to wear to go away after our wedding reception, and have since worn it to Funeral, Inquest, legal conferences, round table settlement meeting and the High Court. It's travelled well with me until now and I'll miss it.

Throwing so much of my wardrobe out has made me think about Jessica's clothes in boxes upstairs. Some has already been sent to charity shops, but the 'most Jessica' of her clothes are still kept, maybe for dressing up boxes, maybe for Emily, maybe just for memories. I'm fearful that they could have been invaded but haven't dared look.

As Harry says, usually when he's in trouble and I'm a grumpy Daddy, "I'm not having a very nice life" today.

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What is childbed fever?

Childbed fever is an infection of the womb in new mothers which can lead to septicaemia. If left untreated infection will cause organ failure and death - even in young, fit mothers.
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What are the symptoms? »
Childbed fever: the facts »

What's the aim?

We would like every parent and every midwife and doctor to know that childbed fever is still a very real threat to a mother's life.
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Can I help? »

Who is Jessica?

Jessica Palmer was a Mum. She died in June 2004, at 34 years old, of childbed fever caused by Group A streptococcus.
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This website contains general information about childbed fever. The information is not complete or comprehensive. You should not rely on the information on this website as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about childbed fever (or any other medical condition) you should consult your doctor or other healthcare provider; and if you think you may be suffering from childbed fever (or any other medical condition) you should seek immediately medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.
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